Movie reviews for May 17 2011
“Priest”
May 24th
Most metropolitan daily newspapers have a film critic, and one day per week some kind of aggregate reviews on films just opening. From time to time, the reader will note a “box” with the film and the line “not made available for advance screening”. You can just about count on this being a lousy film from a source hoping to get in-and-out for a decent first week gross before word-of-mouth sinks the ship.
Such is “Priest”, which views Earth as a divided land, the major part controlled by vampires, a smaller part by Priests, who all tend to be super-human, but don’t expect Bela Legosi or the cast of the “Twilight trilogy”. When these attack, they turn into slimy animal-shaped forms intended to be repulsive. In my 82 years, I have seen over 30,000 movies, so obviously I’ve seen everything, the good and the bad. My definition of a “good movie” is one that delivers to the audience for which it is intended.
Believe me, this is one of the worst. Shut the lens setting down; make it be dark and fuzzy and it will seem ominous. The set pieces are ridiculous, and exercise in “what were they thinking”. “The Priest” should not have gotten beyond a discarded script. But, of course, as a supposed “horror film”, it is making money.
“Fast Five”
Apr 5th
Author of Foreign Film in America
“Fast Five”
This is not a great film, BUT it delivers to its intended audience. Cars, cars, cars are racing fast. Things are blowing up. A “heist” movie set in Rio de Janeiro, it features half the “muscle” men in Hollywood. But, it works. The action pieces come at you relentlessly. The actors are obviously all having fun. Why not – - – with all the toys we have never had? Spoiler alert: the bad guys win in the end. The “good guy”, Duane “The Rock” Johnson survives and next time he will surely win.